Tag Archives: fuck cancer

On Love and Cancer and the Universe

It’s amazing how quickly a day can change.

This morning I woke up thinking about how great it felt to decide to make time for the things I want to do (build this space, gain experience, make a transition) and how quickly the internet can make things happen (Doni really is a Fairy Blogmother). I was looking forward to that plus my trip with AOhDub back to Tennessee for football and friends and food and fun this weekend. Things were honestly looking up (in spite of some eye-rolling revelations I had today about a boy thing that now seem beyond stupid).

Then, during a meeting my phone went off. It vibrated, then again, and again, signaling not the usual text from AOhDub but an actual call. A quick check told me it was J, one of my favorite people and my best friend in Tennessee. I didn’t think much of it– we’re staying at her and T’s place this weekend – until I listened to the message to find that they won’t be in town. Instead I found out that they’ll be down in Atlanta because T’s mom is being put on hospice care.

The news was a surprise but not a complete shock. She has been battling cancer for over three years. 15 months ago she was doing pretty well at J & T’s wedding but I know how quickly things can change with cancer. And part of the problem with living far away and not doing a good job of staying in touch is not knowing these things before they sneak up and cut you to your core.

Regardless, this is an amazing woman who laughs a lot and loves so hard it’s not even funny. I moved to TN and became T’s roommate sight unseen and before I knew it I had another mom there to keep an eye out for me while I was below the Mason-Dixon Line. While I lived in Knoxville she doted on me and J like her own daughters and when J and T got engaged and then married, she was over the moon to finally have a kid who would call her back and listen to her stories every time. This is a woman who scolded T for exclaiming “Dude!” to me on the phone because “she’s not a boy” (even better is the fact that he didn’t ever say dude before the Californian moved in). You won’t meet a sweeter lady and although she might gasp at my language the only thing I want to say is fuck cancer.

Life gets turned upside down sometimes. But those moments are often the only times we allow the universe to remind us of our own mortality. Of our own complete inability to make plans. Of the need to tell people how we feel and to get rid of toxic people and things from our lives.

So, I guess all I can say is, thanks universe, I hear you loud and clear. And everyone else, think of J, T and his parents this week (I know I will be, even while I’m willing the Vols to crush the Gators) and give everyone you love lots of hugs.


The C Word

Have you heard about the girl with cancer who asked Joseph Gordon-Levitt out on a date in a youtube video? As I’m writing this, 55,000 people have watched the video and it was also featured on E! Online and MSNBC.

Her name is Lindsey Miller. And I know her. Or I knew her. Back when we spent a lot of late nights working at the Daily Nexus at UCSB.

I once drank poorly made mojito out of a pot in her kitchen. I also once more than once drunkenly stood with friends in the driveway outside of her apartment whisper-yelling into her window to see if she was awake (she usually wasn’t). And I think she was there the night of my stupid infamous 21st birthday SoCo drink-off (in the office), although I can’t say for sure (see: SoCo DRINK-OFF).

Though we haven’t been in touch since I graduated and I didn’t know she was sick, seeing her video today and taking a look at her blog about living in the limbo of no prognosis with a disease that is already rare and even rarer in people of her sex and age, made me want to sit down and tell you about it.

Despite the fact that I might have chosen someone else *coughRyanGoslingcough* I applaud her bravery and am inspired by the candidness and strength of her words, both on video and in her blog, in the face of a disease that we invincible 20-somethings aren’t supposed to get.

Having watched too many people I know fight – kicking, screaming, clawing, punching, biting – this shitty disease, sometimes winning and too often losing, I just want to say: FUCK YOU CANCER. You’re a bastard.

So in honor of that sentiment, take a minute to check out Lindsey’s video and blog. And next time someone asks you to donate to *insert cancer research cause here* really consider giving. And if you happen to be big time, pass the video along to Joseph Gordon-Levitt.

Sure it seems like a long shot, but isn’t that why we’re all here tweeting and blogging and commenting and reading? I’ve seen some amazing things happen from social media and the internet bringing people together and what better purpose than to help someone who totally deserves it out?

As far as I’m concerned, anyone who’s ever offered me mojitos deserves at least that much consideration. Even if the mojito did eventually end up in my side yard.

Good luck Lindsey, as cliché as it is to write, cancer couldn’t have picked a worse enemy. Nobody’s got heart and the ability to overcome things that kill other people like a Gaucho. And thanks for not calling the cops on us when we were outside your window.

PS: To all the asshats who disliked her video and made shitty comments on it and her blog, you have the right to your own opinion, but that was reeeeeeeal cunty and tells me that you are FOR CANCER. Karma will catch up with you.