Tag Archives: crazy

A Crazy Idea

I have a crazy idea.

I think this is the part where I say “Just crazy enough to work.” But I don’t know if it will work.

I also don’t know if it’s just boredom. I don’t know if it will help me find whatever it is that I’m looking for.

I do know it’s scary. I do know it’s the kind of thing that parents advise against. And the kind of thing that friends encourage, or at least until they realize you’re serious. And I do know that I’m so beyond restless.

I have a crazy idea.

In a few months I get to celebrate the wedding of two friends who are awesome and I wish I could see more. I get to go all the way to DC for the wedding and then head to New York to visit another friend and just enjoy the city. While looking at flight and train plans for getting there and back, a thought popped into my head.

What if I didn’t come back to work? What if I left my job, took my vacation pay and spent some time exploring? What if I took trains, took my time, meandering my way back to the West Coast? What if I did all that and wrote about it and took photos and video to share and to remind myself of it all later?

Then the serious questions appeared: could I really leave my job? What would my family say? What would I do when I got back? Could I afford it? What would my roommate do? Where would I go? How long would I spend? Am I just trying to escape? Will I be able to keep up my half marathon training? What would I do if I don’t come back energized? What would I do if I couldn’t find a job when I got back?

I don’t really know the answers to any of those questions. Despite that fact, I have started formulating a plot. A plan. An itinerary?

I’ve always found the best way to approach a crazy idea is to answer the questions you want to know the answers to and avoid the ones you don’t.

A month.

Philadelphia – DC – Atlanta – New Orleans – Chicago – Denver – Salt Lake City – Sacramento – Portland – LA?

Philadelphia – DC – Atlanta – New Orleans – Chicago – Minneapolis – Portland – LA?

Philadelphia – DC – Atlanta – New Orleans – Houston – San Antonio – Tucson – LA – Oakland?

I have a crazy idea.

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My B.A. in Kicking Ass

You know what I’ve been doing almost non-stop for the last four days? Working. Getting up at the buttcrack of dawn. Covering for coworkers. Running around like a crazy person. Existing off of sheer willpower.

And other than my sun kissed cheeks, extra freckles, sleep deprivation and neck stiffness, what have I gotten out of this all? An even more exaggerated sense of self confidence and awesomeness, that’s what.

On Saturday I covered and wrote about 2 baseball games, 2 softball games, a golf tournament, a track meet and a water polo game. Oh yeah and I ran a 5k. But instead of being just utterly pissed that my job continues to prevent me from doing things I love: having a social life, drinking beer, being active, seeing my family, sleeping and blogging, this weekend actually just further proved to me that I can do anything.

So here I am ready to fucking kick ass and take names. That new skill I want to learn? I’m going to go and figure it out. My changes for this month (that I haven’t had a chance to write about)? I’m going to make them habits. Those things I’ve been letting bother me? I’m going to get over them.

Sure “what doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger” but why not “what doesn’t kill you, makes you better”? It’s about time I stopped complaining and started seeing the positive in all the bullshit I’ve been digging through lately.

I’m Probably Losing My Mind

Originally this post took a serious “woe is me” tone about how shitty 2012 has been so far and how I’m on the verge of a nervous breakdown. But then something changed and I’m ready to kick 2012 in the ass and possibly also pay attention to my desktop background that stares me in the face every day on BOTH my computers: “Happiness is a choice. Be happy or be miserable. The distance is the same.” (thanks Shatterboxx!)

I’m not saying I’m all happy sunshine and puppies and meadows and rainbows and unicorns yet. So far 2012 has been kind of a bitch to me. I know this is all very “first world problems” of me but, so far the new year has been: getting yelled at like a child in the workplace, being pulled back into the cruel grips of insomnia, laying in a ball on my bed due to some serious stomach distress, dragging myself to work and a lingering cough rearing its ugly head every time I laugh.

Oh yeah, and then there’s the mouse. If you’ve been following along on twitter, there’s a mouse in our apartment. I’ve set out traps now after meeting the mouse twice yesterday. It’s been over 24 hours and we have no dead rodents. Now I’m starting to think that the mouse might be a figment of my imagination. My roommate hasn’t been here when I’ve seen it, it seemed to vanish into thin air in my kitchen yesterday and also, did you hear, it’s NOT. DEAD. YET. So in addition to my other problems, I may be going all John Nash on y’all. And unfortunately the state’s budget shortfall has been closing down all the best mental wards.

UPDATE: I am not crazy. Or at least, there was a mouse. In the trap this morning. Unfortunately, I didn’t really think about how the implications of me not being crazy would be that I would have to deal with a dead mouse instead of hallucinations. But, after a slightly traumatizing removal experience, I have conquered the mouse and solidified my future as a building super.

I swear I had a point. Oh yeah, even though the first three two weeks of this year (only two weeks? WHAT?) have been basically one shitstorm after another, I’ve decided to move on. Even though the last few weeks have seemed like a dark tunnel with no end and a weird smell, I’ve now got a plan. Or part of a plan.

Anna and I are ready to make some moves and get off the fatass train (the one where you start to look like your couch) and actually signed up for some races today. We’ve got a training plan, an investment in a race and we’re ready to Kick Ass and Take Names. It’s a proper noun because that’s the name of our shared training calendar (not crazy).

So yeah, I’ve started to get one part of my life back under control and I’m ready to get all the other things back together. It’s easy for just a couple people to remind you that things aren’t so bad and that they will get better (another reason why the internet is so, so amazing). On a related note, seriously consider becoming an organ donor, it’s one of the greatest gifts you can give.

So, here I am, ready to climb out of the shithole and into the light of the kickass year that 2012 is going to be. Progress, that’s my word. So it’s about time to get started, don’t you think?