I Know What You Cooked Last Tuesday

One would think that someone who as many burns as I have (see: element in the oven, handle of fresh-out-of-the-oven pot, pizza pan, light on a boat cruise of the Seine – not joking, etc.) would not continue to put themselves in eminent burn danger by cooking and baking. But since I’m all about bucking the trends ignoring my own personal history of clumsiness, I make sure to get cooking in the kitchen near sizzling pans and hot burners on a regular basis. As a result, I’ve been learning a lot of amazing lessons.

smores cookies collage

A few weeks ago, I decided to take on one of the recipes from Nicole’sDesserts That Will Totally Get You Laid,” despite the fact that I had nobody around to try to get laid by. Regardless, I could not wait to get down and dirty with the S’mores Cookie Bars (see what I did there?).

In classic lazy girl fashion, I decided that cutting the actual cookie bars would be too much work, so I went the regular s’mores cookie route. But instead of just using regular marshmallow, I chose to stick with the original and put marshmallow fluff into the batter.

Along the way I found out that, creaming butter and sugar would be made a lot easier if I owned a hand mixer. But, if you’re looking to make an impression with whomever you’re getting laid with, the arm strength from this task could come in “handy” (again with the jokes).

I also found pure joy in the fact that we were in possession of a rolling pin. As a result, making crumbs out of graham crackers was easy and quick. It also made me wonder how I had a rolling pin, but no hand mixer.

To be a baker, you also need patience. This is not a skill of mine. Patience is a virtue that has been completely lost on me. You know what you have to wait for when baking? Butter to warm to room temperature. Cookies to bake. Cookies to cool. These things are a struggle. Do you know how long it takes for butter from the fridge to warm to room temperature? Let’s just say, I did a lot of multi-tasking to keep from losing my mind with the waiting. And thank goodness for kitchen timers, otherwise I’d burn everything I bake on account of distractions caused by my impatience.

Despite all the learning and whatnot, I managed to make a decent batch of cookies, deemed edible and tasty by my friends – who finished them off poste haste. Plus, no burns? I’ll call it a win-win.

What have you been baking?

P.S. – Nicole seriously is a genius. So get in on these recipes! The salted caramel apple donuts are to die for. More on that later.


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